how do I avoid dating my descendants?
Today’s question comes from a future where humans live a long, long time. And some of them might want to date. But how do you make sure you’re not actually dating someone you’re related to? And what’s the point of dating anyway?
To find out, I call Dr. Janina Jeff, a geneticist and senior scientist at Illumina, as well as the host of a podcast called In Those Genes. And then after that, we’ll play a little game.
Advice For And From The Future is written, edited and performed by Rose Eveleth. The theme music is by Also, Also, Also. The logo is by Frank Okay. Additional music this episode provided by Blue Dot Sessions.
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TRANSCRIPT
Transcript by Emily White @ The Wordary
Advice For And From The Future
S1E8: “How Do I Avoid Dating My Descendants?”
[store bell jingle]
[Advice For and from the Future theme kicks in: low, long synths under a steady, crunchy rhythm]
ROSE EVELETH:
Hi again. Welcome back. I’m glad you could join us. I know our door is a little bit hard to find, nestled between the solar panel repair shop and the hybrid animal veterinarian, but here you are.
Got a question about tomorrow? Well, you are in the right place. Welcome to your friendly neighborhood futurology shop, where you can get the answers to tomorrow’s questions, today.
On today’s trip to and from the future, we are considering questions of relations, aging, and genetics. So here’s the question:
CALLER:
Hi. I have a problem. I’ve been alive for about a thousand years, and even though I’ve only had a few kids a century, some of those kids had a little bit more kids. Now I have a problem as I’m looking to date again. A significant percentage of the entire human population is my direct descendant. What are the moral and ethical implications of dating?
[theme fades out]
Do I need to take, like, DNA tests every time I run into somebody? Or is there a certain point where I’m literally less related to them than I am to people I would be dating when I was younger, technically? It’s weird, but this is the kind of question that happens when you’ve been alive for so long.
ROSE:
And to grapple with that question, you will hear from Dr. Janina Jeff, a geneticist and senior scientist at Illumina, as well as the host of a podcast called In Those Genes. And then after that, we’re going to play a little game. Shall we begin?
ROSE (on call):
Dr. Jeff, welcome to Advice For and From the Future. Are you ready to give some advice?
DR. JANINA JEFF:
Yes. (laughs)
ROSE:
Excellent. Good, because otherwise we can’t continue. (laughs)
So I’ve sent you this question. The question is about this problem that this person has, who has asked to remain nameless, actually; doesn’t want his problems aired on the radio. But, he’s been alive for a long time, thousands of years, and now a bunch of people are related to him, and he would like to date.
So maybe let’s start with the premise. Is it true that if you were alive for, say, a couple of thousand years and you kept having kids, eventually much of the population would be related to you?
JANINA:
Yes, assuming, to be clear, that the population is still growing. I think that’s one thing to consider. A couple of things; one that the population is still growing, so that would mean that over time the amount of people are continuing to procreate. But in general, you’ll still be related to them. Even you and I are related; we’re all related. It’s kind of like this weird social thing that we all have created, like race and gender, about how related we all are. So, that’s the real thing.
ROSE:
Today, if I wanted to find out all the people who are related to me, how would I do that?
JANINA:
So, one, you would never know the answer to that question. It’s complicated, right? First of all, what do you consider to be related? That’s one question, because it’s like, if I share any parts of my DNA with a person, then am I related to them? Okay, then we’re related to not only to humans but other species. Then it’s like, how related is related? So, using some of these genealogy companies, they have a threshold of what they consider relatedness, and that’s about how much of the genome you share, which means parts of my genome are shared by parts of your genome, and it’s not something that we would say is due to chance.
Chance would be, kind of like, how I’m assuming you and I are probably distantly related because we’re humans, not because we’re cousins. Whereas, what most people conceptualize as relatedness is that we share a common recent ancestor. Like, your great-grandma is my great-grandma, or your great auntie, or whatever like that. That’s what we consider relatedness.
But yes, you can do that. You can submit your DNA to one of these companies, and basically what they do is… it’s kind of like a Google search. They’ll type “Rose,” and let’s say Rose was your unique genome, and they would see, “How many people have ‘Rose’ in their genome too?” And you might see some people who have S as that third character, and you might say, “Hey, those people are related to me.” So, these companies look up and see how much… Or someone might have R-O-S in that order, like, “Okay, that’s my sister,” or something like that.
Most modern-day humans are able to find, like, thousands… Living people our age are able to find thousands of their relatives using this approach, where we’re just saying, “How much of your genome matches with anyone else who is also in the database?”
But I’m excited about this question, like, dating in the future and being related to everyone. It’s like a messy dating world. I don’t know about you, but I went to a small liberal arts college, and everyone knew everyone, and so you can imagine there was a lot of mixing. In genetics we call it contiguity where, basically, you date your cousins. It’s like, “Okay, it’s a thing.”
ROSE:
When we talk about this idea of, like, “You don’t want to date people you’re related to,” maybe let’s talk about why it is that we think that and what the actual dangers are of dating people you’re related to, and then maybe where those stop and start to become social constraints?
JANINA:
Yeah. So, the reason that you may or may not want to date somebody that you’re related to is because it increases the likelihood of developing genetic effects, depending on how closely you’re related to a person. And it’s not as straightforward. Like, you mating with your parent could be a bad thing because… Well, not a bad thing; I hate using words like ‘bad’ and ‘good’. But it could cause birth defects, right? So you could consider, like, your parents come together and they make this unique book that is you. And your brother has a very similar book. And if siblings were to mate, the stories would be redundant in that same book, and sometimes redundancy, depending on where, and how, could cause these birth defects.
I’m trying to do an analogy on the fly here and it may not be making sense. But essentially, if you’re closely related to a person, you might have a variant in your genome that you can live fine with, and your sibling might have that same variant, but when you guys come together, the combination of those two variants could cause a birth defect. That can be problematic. That can cause some bigger issues that make life a little bit more challenging.
Then it goes back to, like, how closely related. The likelihood of that happening is higher when it’s someone you’re more closely related to. So, if I were alive for, like, 3,000 years and I’m dating someone who may be, like, 500 years old, because, you know, I’m a cougar and all (laughs)…
ROSE:
Age is just a number. (laughs)
JANINA:
Age is just a number; a social construct, right? (laughs) So, I’m deciding, like, because I’ve been around for so long, everybody wants to date me because I’m so dope and whatever…
ROSE:
Obviously.
JANINA:
Obviously! So, I’m like, “I’m going to date someone who’s 500 years old,” and the likelihood of these birth defects or something like that happening with someone I’m more distantly related to, because it was 500 years ago, is low.
ROSE:
I feel like so much of our… at least for me, a lot of the ways in which I remember learning about, like, inbreeding, or this idea of, like, “don’t date your sister,” or whatever, comes from royal Russian families where you would hear about how they just kept mating with each other and then, you know, those paintings of all of them. Now that I think back on it, it’s like, very ableist the way that it was talked about. Like, “Oh god, these people with all their, like, terrible deformities and stuff.” But I remember learning about that and being like, “Ah, they didn’t know that you shouldn’t do this!”
JANINA:
Right. (laughs) But even that just goes to reinforce, like, how these social things are something that we create, right? Because their whole theory was, “We have to keep the blood pure, we’ve got to keep our blood the same,” or whatever, and not really understanding what are the consequences of doing that, and also: why? (laughs)
I’m kind of going off on a tangent here, but one good point, I would like to think, far, far in the future, if a person was alive for 1,200 years because we have all the medical advances, and this person… assuming capitalism is still a thing, how we can afford all these things, and it has afforded them this amazing life, we’ll probably know enough that even if you wanted to date someone that was your sibling, perhaps we could use CRISPR to understand and prevent all the things that could cause, you know, some challenges for some of these birth defects and so forth. I don’t know.
ROSE:
Yeah, maybe it won’t even matter because you can just go in and, like, snippety snip.
JANINA:
Snip, snip, snip. (laughs)
ROSE:
And then, if we’re talking about those children dating later on down the line, if you have CRISPR’d them enough, they don’t seem to be related to you anymore, and then maybe this question of related-to-dating doesn’t make any sense anymore.
JANINA:
So the thing is, I don’t think that it will make… I don’t know how far in the future we are, but I personally believe that our DNA is going to be more commonly used than anything else. I think it’ll be on the level of how we use our credit card. I think our credit card, like, will be in the form of our DNA.
I’m getting real trippy here. What is something that is uniquely you? Why do we need credit cards, and IDs, and all these things that we use as, you know, means to identify ourselves and all the things that are associated with us when we already have this thing called a genome? So, I can see the genome manifesting into these other areas that still make up who we are and become a part of our identity.
So, if you were, like, on a dating app, I don’t think the question is going to be, like, “Hey, have we reached Day Three? Is it okay for me to ask you to take a DNA test?” I think it’ll be more like, “We’ve all been whole-genome sequenced and we all have access to our genomes because our genomes are what we need in order to, like, move about life,” just like our phones, right? So, I think that our genomes will kind of start to be used like that, far in the future. Again, I don’t know how far in the future we are, but like…
ROSE:
At least a thousand years because this guy’s been living for a thousand years. (laughs)
JANINA:
Yeah. (laughs)
ROSE:
I have a question about the genome-as-credit-card, because one of the things that always scares me about that proposal is, like, your credit card, if it gets compromised, you can change your credit card number, but you can’t really change your DNA if something happens. So how do you deal with security, and data breaches, and stuff in that context where it’s like, “Welp, your DNA is now compromised. Sorry.”?
JANINA:
I like to think of it as a blockchain. I think a blockchain would be, kind of, a… I don’t know what blockchain or some similar technology looks like a thousand years from now, but something like that where… You can’t hack someone’s DNA. And in terms of the way security… A thousand years from now, we would have data security that is unhackable, I believe.
ROSE:
So do you think that it’s okay to ask someone to do a DNA test as part of dating/courtship? Or is that crossing some kind of line?
JANINA:
It goes to an even more complicated question. See, this is why dating with me is difficult, right? Because it goes to an even more complicated question because, like, “How much of this should we let be organic? And how much of this should we try to control?” And what are we defining as bad versus good? And how much are we trying to alter our destiny? It’s quite natural and beautiful, even though we’ve societally and socially put these things that it’s not. And it kind of makes me really question, even though I work in this industry, like, how much are we trying to control the beautiful parts of human life and trying to make it something that it’s not what it naturally is? Tangent done. (laughs)
ROSE:
No, I think especially when we talk about, like, dating, and you know, relationships, this question of, there are people who want everything to be on a track, and make a to-do list, and even in their personal life are like, “I will date via this algorithm,” you know? There is this push, it feels to me at least, to make everything that we do efficient and not waste any time. Even in this question, it’s like, “I don’t even want to waste time dating somebody who might be too closely related.” Is that always the right thing to be maximizing? Efficiency? As opposed to some other variable that might be, like, care, or fun, or some other version of life?
JANINA:
Versus being human? (laughs)
ROSE:
Yeah.
JANINA:
So, first of all, we’re making a huge assumption here that a thousand years from now humans will be dating humans, because we know, AI technology, and all this stuff. We’re already… I think, at some points, I would say I spend more time with my phone than anyone else. I definitely do.
ROSE:
Your phone knows you better than anyone.
JANINA:
My phone knows me better than anyone. I actually care about her.
ROSE:
Does she have a name?
JANINA:
She doesn’t have a name, but she should. I feel like I’m disrespecting her legacy by not giving her a name. (laughs) Anyway, so a lot of assumptions here. I think one thing that I’m really interested in, in dating in the future, would be that one of the biggest challenges in genetics right now is understanding neuroscience, neurogenetics. Understanding the brain, understanding our social… like, understanding the brain but understanding what parts of our psychology are determined by genetics. And I find that extremely interesting because if we talk about, like, what makes people compatible, a lot of it goes to that. Which is like, part of it is your experiences, and then part of it is your genome, and the interactions between those.
I like to think that by the time we’re dating, let’s say, a dating site or whatever is the equivalent then, that you would have this profile that all these scientists over the years have amassed together, “all together, all these things, and this makes her compatible with another human, or robot, or another entity that she really vibes with.” But then again, here I am, being a human that wants to be efficient. (laughs)
ROSE:
Right. Like Married at First Sight but you’re matched by all of the DNA and psychology tests that could ever be done, and your microbiome, and all the other extra stuff that people do.
I do get pitches, and I’m sure you do too, for companies that have tried to do, like, DNA dating, where you send in your DNA, and they’ll sequence it, and then they’ll match you with someone. I’m like, “How does that work?? That’s not a thing.” (laughs)
JANINA:
First of all… You know, it’s so funny because I wonder how many times they find people who are related to each other, and what do they do? I wonder what that message reads out as, “Actually, this is your eighth cousin… If you want to…”
ROSE:
(laughs) “Go for it. No judgment.”
JANINA:
Like, “Go for it if you want to, but caution!” (laughs) Or do they just not get matched at all? I don’t trust any of those things right now.
ROSE:
It makes me think too of, like, the way we think about dating now is this assumption that of course you’ll meet someone who you’ve never seen before in your life, who you don’t know at all, who is in no way related to you, and is somehow, like, perfect. Whereas in, like, the olden times, you dated your neighbor, who was probably also distantly related to you. Like, we had these small communities. You ended up marrying a person who you probably knew from childhood. So it’s such a different way of thinking about dating now, where it’s like… Especially in big cities, right?
This is not true necessarily if you live in a small town, like you mentioned in college. If you live in a small town, some of this is still the case. But you know, when I was living in Brooklyn and dating, it would be like, you’re just scrolling through an endless stream of random people you’ve never seen before in your life. If I’m a thousand years old, I do not want to have to swipe at this point. I am too old for that.
JANINA:
I don’t want to have to swipe. If I’m a thousand years old, I don’t like to think everybody has… I’ve dated a significant amount of people. I mean, how many marriages is that, right?
One thing I do look forward to with dating in the future, and maybe genetics, and just technology advancing, is I feel the opposite. I feel like I would actually like to see what dating looks like on an even bigger scale, versus a smaller one. It makes sense that, like, someone you were raised with probably had very similar experiences as you, and all this stuff, and maybe you are compatible. But also, just learning new things, and being exposed to uncomfortable things.
But thinking about how transient we are now, and there are some things that still divide us, like language, and culture, but I wonder if technology could translate some of these things to understand baseline compatibility with just, you know, your DNA, or concrete, substantial things about your psychology that is not impacted so much by environmental things. I don’t even know if that’s a thing, but I’m thinking about, like, what about all the people in Japan I could’ve been dating all this time but we just couldn’t communicate, right? (laughs)
ROSE:
(laughs) I was just going to say, maybe your soulmate is in Japan and you just have no idea.
JANINA:
Could be my soulmate is in Japan, just, you know, meandering around, and I’m over here frolicking in Central Park. (laughs)
ROSE:
If only you had a genetic company that could match you!
JANINA:
That could match me across languages, and the only common language we had is our love language. What a story.
ROSE:
Hallmark movie! (laughs)
JANINA:
(laughs) Play a cheesy song.
ROSE:
There you go. Yeah. At your wedding you’ll have to have, like, banners with your readouts of your DNA and have it be this, like, performance.
JANINA:
Right!
ROSE:
I was also thinking in relation to this question, at this point, this question-asker has had a lot of children. Maybe they don’t want to have any more children. Maybe the point isn’t, like, “Get married. Have baby,” right? Which I feel like, to many people, not all people, is kind of what they’re doing when they’re looking. And if you have hundreds of kids and grandkids, etc., you’re probably good on having to deal with that. So like, what is the function of what you’re looking for, and does it need to be one person? Or can it be lots of people?
And then, if having children is taken out of the equation, then you could date anybody you’re related to because it doesn’t really matter. It’s more of a social construct to say, “Well, you shouldn’t do X, Y, or Z thing with your close relatives,” which is always predicated on, “Because if you have children, this will happen.” Whereas, if you are no longer having children, then why does it matter at all?
JANINA:
I also think, if I’m this old, and I’ve dated all these people, and I’ve had all these kids, what would be my motivation for dating? And for me, it would be kind of like that question I was thinking earlier, “What are the dating experiences I haven’t had, and how do I eliminate some of the limitations to those dating experiences?” Whether it be distance, like… I’m actually tired of dating humans. I want to date something else, you know? Or dating Americans. I don’t know. Dating someone who speaks a different language or has a different culture, I would imagine, then, that I would be interested in those things.
ROSE:
Yeah, and does DNA have anything to do with it at all? Or is it just meeting that person and being like, “Yeah, you’re cool. Let’s hang out.”
JANINA:
Right. And getting into the barebones of humanity, what do we need to feel that human feeling of companionship? And what can it look like in its many forms?
ROSE:
Yeah. Dr. Jeff, thank you for coming and offering your advice. I wish you the best of dating luck, here and in the future in a thousand years.
JANINA:
Thank you. I need all of it. Give me all of the dating energy and DNAs. (laughs)
ROSE (Mono):
Do you have a question about the future? Some conundrum you’re facing now, or one that you think we might face in the future? Send it in! You can send a voice memo to Advice@FFwdPresents.com, or call (347) 927-1425 and leave a message.
And now, a quick break. When we come back, we are going to find our caller a date.
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FICTION SKETCH BEGINS
[cheesy game show music begins, audience cheering]
HOST:
All right, all right! Thank you! Simmer down, everyone. We are here once again to find the perfect match for our eligible singleton using our patented mix of seduction and science, courtship and chemistry, gravitation and genetics. But first, before we get into any of that, let’s meet our guest, who is single, and once again ready to mingle, shall we? Bring ‘em on out!
GUEST:
Whoa. Hello.
HOST:
Welcome to the show!
GUEST:
Thanks for having me.
HOST:
And what is your name?
ZEPHYR:
I’m Zephyr. Zeph for short.
HOST:
All right, Zephyr. Tell us a little bit about yourself.
ZEPHYR:
Well, I was born in Boise, Idaho. I’m 988 years old. I like dogs and curling, though I’m a better sweeper than I am a skipper.
HOST:
Of course! Who doesn’t! It’s the national game for a reason! And Zephyr, what are you looking for in a partner?
ZEPHYR:
You know, someone with a little bit of a sense of humor, someone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously, someone who likes to learn new things. You know, I am technically pretty old, 988, so I’m always trying to find things I haven’t tried before and I want someone who’s willing to try those things with me.
HOST:
Do you have an example in mind?
ZEPHYR:
Yeah, so I’ve got this plan where I’m trying to eat every single animal.
HOST:
Every… animal?
ZEPHYR:
Yeah, yeah. You know, at this point it’s… I’ve had all the main ones; chicken, beef, pork, all those standard animals. And then about 50 years ago I decided to try as many as I could, so I did the next most obvious ones; birds, bugs, sharks, lizards. Now I’m onto the really weird stuff that’s hard to find, like, I’m trying to find someone who can get me some deep-sea tube worms, that kind of thing.
HOST:
And you want your partner to be willing to try deep-sea tubeworms with you?
ZEPHYR:
Yeah, weird stuff like that, adventurous.
HOST:
Okay! Well, let’s find you that person, shall we? We have a bunch of potential suitors for you today.
ZEPHYR:
I’m excited to meet them.
HOST:
All right, Setbot, let’s roll them on out.
[audience cheers]
Here we have three lovely contestants, so let’s meet them.
Contestant #1, tell us about yourself.
CONTESTANT 1:
Okay, hi. I’m Billie, and I’m 36, but I really do believe that age is just a number! I like cats, and um… Oh yeah, I’m a pilot.
HOST:A pilot!
CONTESTANT 1:
Yeah, I pilot drones for drone shows, so if you saw the recent curling championship halftime show, the upper left quadrant of drones, that was me.
HOST:
Amazing. Okay, Contestant #2, what should we know about you?
CONTESTANT 2:
Hi… I’m Noah, and I’m a third grade teacher. I’m 246 years old, and in my spare time I’m a painter.
HOST:
Oh, what do you paint?
CONTESTANT 2:
My art has been described as grotesque and inappropriate for children, mostly by my students’ parents.
HOST:
Okay! Wow! And Contestant #3, what about you?
CONTESTANT 3 (AI voice):
Hello.
HOST:
Tell us about yourself.
CONTESTANT 3:
I’m 432 years old. I live in Detroit.
HOST:
And what do you do for work?
CONTESTANT 3:
Advise.
HOST:
Okay. Well, a great crop of suitors. Let’s get to some questions, shall we? Contestant #1, what is your ideal date?
CONTESTANT 1:
Dinner and a movie. I know it sounds cliché, but it’s cliché because it works.
HOST:
Okay. #2?
CONTESTANT 2:
I would say, one of those wine and painting classes so we can paint our feelings for one another instead of having to use words.
HOST:
And you get a keepsake! All right, #3, your ideal date?
CONTESTANT 3:
August 13, 2024.
ZEPHYR:
(laughs)
HOST:
What?
ZEPHYR:
It’s a joke, like from the movie Miss Congeniality.
HOST:
Uh, okay. Well, let’s talk about food, shall we? Zephyr has an interest in food. So, Contestants, what is your favorite dish? Let’s start again with you, #1.
CONTESTANT 1:
Okay. My favorite dish… Oh, this is hard. I love food! I’m going to say pasta, really any kind.
HOST:
A classic! #2?
CONTESTANT 2:
Well, I really love bread, so I’d say, like, unlimited breadsticks would be my favorite dish.
HOST:
And #3?
CONTESTANT 3:
SKA.
ZEPHYR:
Square Kilometer Array?
CONTESTANT 3:
Yes.
ZEPHYR:
(laughs) Good answer.
HOST:
What??
ZEPHYR:
The SKA… SETI? Nevermind. It’s funny. It’s a joke.
HOST:
… right. Uh, next question, I guess? What color best describes your personality and why? Let’s start with #2 this time.
CONTESTANT 2:
Um, I guess I would say red, like that really ferric red color, you know, like the color of blood.
HOST:
I do know that color. Let’s go to #1.
CONTESTANT 1:
Definitely green, the color of growth, and photosynthesis. I’ve always wanted to be a plant.
HOST:
Okay, and #3. What color best describes your personality and why?
CONTESTANT 3:
YKB.
ZEPHYR:
Yves Klein Blue?
CONTESTANT 3:
Yes!
HOST:
How did you know that?
ZEPHYR:
It’s one of my favorite colors too.
HOST:
Okay, and #3, why do you feel this color best describes you?
CONTESTANT 3:
Because it unsettles people.
HOST:
Yes! That is accurate! Okay, Zephyr, now the big decision, or at least the first big decision. You need to eliminate one of these three lovely contestants, and then we can move on to the Wheel. Of. Testing! [exciting digital beeps]
ZEPHYR:
Okay, okay. This is tough. I feel like I’m just starting to get to know you all, but I guess… I think, #2. Sorry. You seem great but I just don’t like painting that much.
CONTESTANT 2:
It’s okay. (sigh)
HOST:
All right, #2, maybe next time. Happy painting. Happy dating. Setbot, let’s take our two finalists to the Wheel. Of. Testing! [exciting digital beeps]
[audience cheers]
Okay, Zephyr, you know how this goes. Each of our contestants will undergo three of our highly scientific tests as chosen, again, by the Wheel. Of. Testing! [exciting beeps]
Are you ready to spin?
ZEPHYR:
Yeah, I’m ready.
HOST:
All right. Go for it.
[wheel spinning and clicking]
ZEPHYR:
Come on, DNA! C’mon DNA!
HOST:
Brain scanning! Okay, you two are going to put on these electrode caps that should come onto your little services there, and yes, let’s see how compatible your brains are.
[dings]
All right, getting the readouts here. Would you look at that! #1, 34% compatible with you, Zephyr. And #3… Looks like we are having… some technical difficulties with the cap… Uh-huh, okay. Well, while our technicians work on that, Zephyr, 34% with number one. What do you think?
ZEPHYR:
That’s just a little above a third compatible. Is that good?
HOST:
It’s as good as you want it to be.
Okay, it looks like #3’s headset is broken, so let’s just move along, shall we? We’ve got two more tests. Let’s spin again.
[wheel spinning and clicking]
Microbiome compatibility! Ooh, I love this one! This is one of my favorites. Okay contestants, open wide! Here comes the airplane swab!
All right Zephyr, while we wait, what do you think deep-sea tubeworms taste like? Do you have a prediction? What do you think?
ZEPHYR:
Oh, I think they probably taste mostly like rubber, but I’ve had geoduck and that also tastes mostly like rubber, so that’s not going to stop me from eating it. Certain foods are acquired tastes, and I don’t mind acquiring them.
HOST:
All right. Okay. And we have some results. Zephyr, you have about 98% of the same microbes as Contestant #1, and it looks like… Wow, just 1% of the same microbes as contestant #3, who seems to only have… one type of microbe, which is weird. But 98% with #1. What a match!
ZEPHYR:
Yeah!
HOST:
Okay, final spin. Here you go.
[wheel spinning and clicking]
ZEPHYR:
Yes!
HOST:
DNA! You wanted this one, huh?
ZEPHYR:
Yeah, you know, we’d have to do it anyway to make sure we’re not actually related.
HOST:
True, true. Fair enough. Let’s find out. The envelope, please.
[ding]
Zephyr, when it comes to DNA, you are… Not related to either of these two suitors. In fact… Wait, it says that #3… does not have DNA? What does that even mean?
ZEPHYR:
I think I’m ready to decide.
HOST:
All right! Okay! Let’s bring out our contestants.
[crowd cheering]
#1, what is your name?
CONTESTANT 1:
Amanda Rico.
ZEPHYR:
Hi, Amanda.
HOST:
And #3… Oh, no.
CONTESTANT 3:
Hello. I’m Alexa, but you can call me whatever you like.
ZEPHYR:
Hi, Alexa.
HOST:
You’re one of those robots… (quietly) I hate those robots.
CONTESTANT 3:
I’m a sentient AI in a synthetic body.
HOST:
Right. Of course. Well, Zephyr, it looks like you have a pretty obvious choice here, but it is time for you to make it.
ZEPHYR:
Yeah. I actually know exactly who I’m going to choose. You had me at YKB, Alexa.
HOST:
Ah… What?
ZEPHYR:
I pick Alexa.
HOST:
You do…? You pick the robot… Okay. Well, that concludes this episode of Find My Heart. Thank you for joining us.
[crowd cheers, closing music begins]
HOST (to TV crew):
Who did this? Who let this robot in? I was very clear, the policy against robots on this show. How exactly did this happen? How did this get through screening? Whoever put this robot on my show is getting fired, immediately. Do you understand me?
(to Zephyr:) Great! Congratulations!
(to self:) Okay, the mic is still on. Great.
[music fades down]
FICTION SKETCH END
[Advice For and From the Future theme fades in]
ROSE:
Advice For and From the Future is written, edited, and performed by me, Rose Eveleth.
The theme music is by Also, Also, Also, who has a new album out called The Good Grief, which you can get on Bandcamp.
Thanks to our question asker who did, in fact, ask to be nameless. And to Dr. Jeff for joining me to talk about relationships in the future and genetics.
If you want to ask a question for or from the future, send a voice memo to Advice@FFwdPresents.com.
If you want to get behind-the-scenes information about this show and the other shows in the Flash Forward Presents network, you can do that by becoming a member of the Time Traveler program. Just go to FFwdPresents.com for more about that. I will also link to it in the show notes.
[music fades down]
Until next time…
[store bell jingle]